A blog on social issues related to GS. Must read for sociology students. It can be helpful for interview preparation too as the topics are discussed in question answer format.
Thursday 13 November 2014
Essay: Environmental Problems and Sustainable Development
1. 2nd para it is environment conservation that is antithetical to development not environment per se 2. 3rd para- water scarcity-water contamination link not clear 3. 4th para – rise in green house gas concentration could have been mentioned instead of just carbon dioxide 4. Good linking of Sen model with environment. Could have explored it more 5. Could have mentioned an example of how technology can contribute to efficient resource use 6. Excesses of civil society point seemed out of place especially when you were going to praise it in very next sentence 7. Conclusion para on value system change seemed abrupt. Could have merged it with before para and said one of things that needs to be done is change in value systems
I have one query. On abstract topics like these should we speak in global perspective or be india specific?
I have written an essay on a related topic. If possible please give your feedback
Excellant feedback. I am glad you read my essay in such a depth. Actually I am trying to write essay in less than 1000 words as I am expecting 2 essays this time. Thus, it is challenging to compress my content of 1500 words in around 900 words. Regarding your query, talk about both Indian and global perspectives as essay is all about multiple dimensions and interpretations.
In your essay, you focused more on developed vs developing countries debate. It could have been finished in 1-2 pages only. Discuss more about the causes of environmental degradation at various levels. Give more solutions. Discuss the strategy of national government. Impact on poor, women and much more. Your essay can be expanded more by adding the above mentioned points.
Thanks for feedback. Topic was on need for global responsibility in environment protection .I thought more focus was required on global responsibility part so ended up neglecting environment protection part.
Animals,plant species.. Biodiversity can be added... Green GDP....ending Thoda better ho sakta h.. Multilateral engagement, binding commitment on emission cutting by all, sharing environment friendly know how and technology....types
1. 2nd para it is environment conservation that is antithetical to development not environment per se
ReplyDelete2. 3rd para- water scarcity-water contamination link not clear
3. 4th para – rise in green house gas concentration could have been mentioned instead of just carbon dioxide
4. Good linking of Sen model with environment. Could have explored it more
5. Could have mentioned an example of how technology can contribute to efficient resource use
6. Excesses of civil society point seemed out of place especially when you were going to praise it in very next sentence
7. Conclusion para on value system change seemed abrupt. Could have merged it with before para and said one of things that needs to be done is change in value systems
I have one query. On abstract topics like these should we speak in global perspective or be india specific?
I have written an essay on a related topic. If possible please give your feedback
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0ByE45CtdNoJwUk1kNjhTLVJEZ00/view?usp=sharing
Excellant feedback. I am glad you read my essay in such a depth. Actually I am trying to write essay in less than 1000 words as I am expecting 2 essays this time. Thus, it is challenging to compress my content of 1500 words in around 900 words.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your query, talk about both Indian and global perspectives as essay is all about multiple dimensions and interpretations.
In your essay, you focused more on developed vs developing countries debate. It could have been finished in 1-2 pages only. Discuss more about the causes of environmental degradation at various levels. Give more solutions. Discuss the strategy of national government. Impact on poor, women and much more. Your essay can be expanded more by adding the above mentioned points.
ReplyDeleteThanks for feedback. Topic was on need for global responsibility in environment protection .I thought more focus was required on global responsibility part so ended up neglecting environment protection part.
DeleteAnimals,plant species.. Biodiversity can be added... Green GDP....ending Thoda better ho sakta h.. Multilateral engagement, binding commitment on emission cutting by all, sharing environment friendly know how and technology....types
ReplyDeleteSD includes preserving biodiversity.. It can broaden ur view point
ReplyDeleteThanks VICKY for ur commrnts.
Delete